


Ocean Avenue

by CliffordAffliction



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 7/11, Anal Sex, Boys kissin, Cashton, Flashbacks, Kissing, M/M, Smut, Song fic, Time Skips, based off of song, fetus boys, muke at the very end but its not much, surfer!Calum, the youngest that they are is 16, they're the same age in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 08:06:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7610224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CliffordAffliction/pseuds/CliffordAffliction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cashton adventures based off of the song Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ocean Avenue

**Author's Note:**

> So on July 22nd I seen Yellowcard at warped tour for the third and probably last time because if you aren’t aware they’re calling it quits after they do their farewell tour (and when their last album comes out prepare for me to write at least one fic based off of a song from that album cause I’m sure I will). I just got really emotional during Ocean Avenue (it was the last song of the set) cause they’ve been one of my favorite bands since middle school and I realized it will probably be the last time I ever see them live so to kind of get some emotions out I decided to write a Cashton fic. The first few chapters are based off of lyrics of the song and then from there I kind of just do my own thing but it’s still mostly inspired by Ocean Avenue and each chapter is a time skip. Hope you guys like it and let me know what you think! Also Calum and Ashton are the same age in this fic

_“There’s a place off Ocean Avenue where I used to sit and talk with you. We were both 16 and it felt so right. Sleeping all day, staying up all night”_

_*_

Ashton’s room was pitch dark besides the TV flashes as he laid on his back on his bed with the blankets pulled all the way up to his chin.  
It was stupid to still get this scared because of a horror movie but Ashton was never that big of a horror movie fan anyways; Calum was though and maybe that was why Ashton was putting himself through this torture. Watching horror movies reminded him of Calum and for some reason he was really missing the boys’ company right now even though they just seen each other earlier in the day before Calum’s parents called him home for dinner.

Ashton felt himself flinch when a girl screamed loudly on screen and he actually closed his eyes before they could show what the girl was screaming about.

He was nearly shaking on his blankets as he got all the way under them, it was summer so he was already starting to sweat but he didn’t care, for some reason he was so freaked out that he didn’t even want to be away from the safety of his covers.

Ashton jumped sky high when he heard a loud noise that sounded like something hitting his window but there was no way; it had to of come from the TV. He started biting his lip after the sound happened again and this time he was sure that it wasn’t coming from the TV.

He of course starting thinking about the demon that he saw on the movie earlier and started getting scared that it was at his window and it was about to take control of his body then his parents would have to hire an exorcist to bring him back and then he would never be the same again.  
He started shaking at this point then it went from little taps to full on knocking on his window and Ashton knew he was too old to be this scared but he was close to tears with how afraid he was.

“Ashton!” came a muffled voice and all of the sudden all of the bad thoughts left him and his heart beat started to slow down as he brought the covers down instantly to be greeted with a familiar face.

He smiled wide as the sight of Calum on his roof, bending down so he could look in the window, while he was dressed in just a plain white shirt and basketball shorts.

While Ashton was taking in the beauty that is Calum he didn’t realize that he was supposed to be letting Calum in. Calum widened his eyes and made a “come here” gesture with his hand and Ashton hopped out of his bed, wearing nothing but his boxers.

He quickly opened the window, letting in that hot summer night air, then Calum was climbing in quickly and knocking Ashton back a bit.

When Calum finally met his eye he squinted at him a bit then looked back to the TV and a smirk came over his face.

“Were you hiding under your blanket cause you were scared of that movie?” in the teasing voice that he used Ashton could tell that Calum already knew the answer but it still didn’t stop him from lying to try and make himself seem like more of a man.

“No” Ashton chuckled and ran a hand through the front of his messy fringe. He would always straighten his hair when he woke up but by now he was sure that it was turning back to its curly self “I was umm…just a bit chilly”

“Chilly?” Calum laughed and Ashton furrowed his eyebrows in anger “It’s like a hundred fucking degrees in here, Ash” Ashton just rolled his eyes and turned around to start walking back to his bed where he picked up the remote and shut the movie off.

“How’d you even get here anyways?” Ashton said in a slightly aggravated voice because he still didn’t forgive Calum for nearly giving him a heart attack.  
When Calum didn’t respond right away Ashton kept his back to the boy as he pretended that he was fixing the blanket on his bed but soon he could feel Calum stepping closer to him.

He instantly melted into the touch and leaned back into it when he felt one of Calum’s hands on the middle of his bare back and the other on his hip.  
A shiver ran up his spine when he felt Calum’s lips touch the back of his neck as the boys’ lips slowly moved over the skin there in open mouth kisses before he was just pecking the skin there a couple times.

“Walked here just for you” Calum whispered, finally answering Ashton’s previous question, but Ashton huffed out of breathy laughed which made Calum’s grip on him tighten.

“You walked 5 miles, Calum?”

“I did” Calum hummed a bit and then started rubbing his hand up and down Ashton’s side and Ashton turned around to see Calum smiling wide. Ashton was just about to laugh again and call his boyfriend a straight up liar but then Calum was putting both of his hands on Ashton’s neck and pressing his lips against the slightly taller boy.

Ashton closed his eyes and kissed him back eagerly just like he always did and he felt Calum smile into the kiss which was like Ashton’s favorite thing ever.

“Missed you” Calum said into the kiss before pecking Ashton’s neck a few times then facing him again and Ashton nodded. They had just seen each other but he missed the hell out of Calum as well.

They had only started this kissing and cuddling thing a month ago so everything was so new and Ashton always still felt the need to touch Calum all the time just because he knew he finally could.

They had been pining over each other since middle school but it wasn’t until Ashton’s sixteenth birthday a month ago that they finally did something about it.

Neither of them had talked about exactly what they were yet but Ashton didn’t care; he was just so happy that he could finally show his affection for Calum.

“Missed you too” Ashton said looking down to run a hand up and down Calum’s stomach.

“Come on” Calum said softly “Get some clothes on and come outside with me” Ashton didn’t even question it anymore, he just knew that he wanted to be anywhere that Calum was.

It didn’t take long for him to put on a pair of ripped up blue jeans and a black shirt and then they were quietly walking out of Ashton’s room, still hand in hand, not wanting to wake up Ashton’s mom and siblings.

After Ashton carefully shut his front door behind himself then he looked to the driveway and discovered how Calum really got to his house.

“Are you shitting me?” Ashton laughed.

“Come on” Calum nodded his head as he pulled on Ashton’s hand and Ashton of course followed suit.

He got into the passenger seat and buckled his seatbelt before turning and watching Calum start the car as he had one hand rested on the steering wheel.

There was just something so sexy about seeing Calum behind the wheel but then again everything about Calum was sexy.

“So you stole your parents car” Ashton said dully as Calum was looking back and backing out of the driveway “And you also only have your learners permit”

“Borrowed. I borrowed their car” Calum spoke in a low voice that gave Ashton chills. Sometimes it worried him how much Calum’s actions and words affected him. He was so young but yet Calum was making him feel things that probably only 70 year olds that have been married for years felt.

Ashton stayed silent for the rest of the drive and when they drove past Ocean Avenue he knew exactly where Calum was taking him and he smiled.  
It was where they would come a lot late at night and it wasn’t like this particular 7/11 had amazing slushy’s or anything but it had just become _their_ place. It was the place they had first met when Calum moved into town all those years ago and it was the place that Calum even worked for a little while but he quickly got fired cause he kept giving Ashton free slushy’s every time he would go in there.

“I’m thinking a pineapple slushy this time” Calum said almost to himself as they both walked into the front doors and even though Ashton didn’t like the pineapple slushy at all he nodded at the boys’ choice.

The store was of course pretty dead at this time of night, save for the tired looking worker at the register that kept obnoxiously chewing his gum and blowing bubbles as he had his earphones up so loud that Ashton could hear the muffled heavy metal music coming from them.

Ashton walked up to the slushy machine behind Calum and watched the boy turn on the lever as the yellow slushy filled his BIG GULP cup.

Calum moved over and Ashton grabbed his own cup before running his eyes over the flavors a few times. He finally decided on the mixing the Mountain Dew slushy with the blue raspberry slushy and Calum made a disgusted face as his decision just like he always did but Ashton just put the lid on and straw in and started taking a few sips of it as he made eye contact with Calum and rolled his eyes back in his head like it was the best thing he ever tasted and to Ashton it was.

Calum rolled his eyes and started making his way towards the register where he paid for both of their slushy’s and Ashton felt himself smile then he was grabbing Calum’s hand and giving it a quick squeeze, just needing to touch him.

Both of them weren’t particular comfortable with PDA yet and Ashton wish he would be so he could help Calum get over it too but he just couldn’t stop himself from worrying about what other people thought about him. He was hoping that it would be a thing that would get easier with age because he couldn’t wait for the day when he could freely kiss and hold Calum in public whenever he pleased.

After being in the AC filled building the air seemed so much hotter outside and Ashton watched Calum sit on the bench right outside the front doors just like they always did. Since they had a car they could have easily drove to sit somewhere else to enjoy their slushy’s but they liked it here just fine. They always liked watching the cars go by in the dead of night like this and guessing on when the light at the end of the street was going to change; Calum was more right than Ashton was and Ashton always pretended to be mad about it but he never was.

Ashton opened his bag of Sour Cream and Onion chips that he grabbed when they were at the register and as soon as he started eating them he heard Calum make a disgust sound just like Ashton knew he would and he laughed a bit.

“Don’t know how you eat those things” Calum mumbled “Fucking disgusting” and Ashton made sure to eat a big handful of them then chew them close to Calum’s ear before the boy was playfully pushing him away.

Instead of taking sips of his own drink he looked over and watched the way Calum drank his. He marveled in the way Calum would close his eyes when he put his lips around the straw and the way his cheeks would puff out if he took too much in his mouth and Ashton couldn’t get over how cute Calum’s chubby cheeks really were.

Ashton took a few big gulps of his slushy before he was getting so lost in Calum.

It was like he was on autopilot as he leaned over a bit and pressed a light kiss to Calum’s right cheek and he watched as Calum seemed shocked at first but then he was smiling wide and showing his teeth that looked even whiter under the street light that was above them.

Ashton stayed close to the boys’ face even after he kissed him just because he couldn’t get over how beautiful Calum was and he couldn’t look away.  
Calum was shyly looking down at his lap with a small smile on his face and Ashton put one arm around the back of the bench and cupped the back of Calum’s head before pressing a few more soft and slow pecks all over Calum’s cheeks and he loved how soft and warm Calum’s skin felt against his lips; it was just such an intoxicating feeling and he hoped that Calum felt the same way whenever he kissed Ashton.

Ashton started rubbing his fingers through the back of Calum’s hair and he felt Calum shiver at the soft touch as his lips were still grazing his cheek.  
Ashton rubbed his nose against Calum’s cheek which made the other boy giggle and Ashton grinned before pressing kisses to Calum’s jaw.  
He only stopped kissing Calum when he seen the boy looking nervous as he bit his lip and then Calum was speaking.

“I really like you” he said so quietly like he was afraid of what Ashton was going to say to that but honestly Ashton thought that was the best thing he’s ever heard and he couldn’t possibly agree more with Calum’s words.

Ashton backed his face up a bit so he could properly look at Calum then Calum was facing him too and Ashton smiled, wanting to ease Calum’s nervousness.

“I really like you too, Cal” he used the nickname because he knew Calum loved it and Calum seemed to glow at Ashton’s words as he smiled brightly like he wasn’t expecting that reaction which confused Ashton because he was pretty sure that he was absolutely addicted to everything about Calum and there was no way that Calum couldn’t see that “Sometimes it scares me how much I like you” Ashton spoke while looking away this time but he could feel Calum’s eyes on him.

“Why does it scare you?” and Ashton has never hear him seem so small and he hated it. He looked back up at Calum and leaned in to wrap his arm all the way around the boy to bring him right up against him then he rested his hand on Calum’s shoulder and rubbed at it.

“We’re just so young” Ashton chuckled, trying not to make it seem so serious “I’m not even sure if it’s normal to like someone as much as I like you when we’re so young”

“Fuck normal” Calum said a bit sternly but he wasn’t angry and Ashton smiled because he was so fucking right.

“You’re right” Ashton said getting serious like Calum was.

Ashton jumped a bit at Calum’s fast movements when the boy was leaning forward and putting his hands on Ashton’s neck and they were kissing more eager than they ever had before. Ashton couldn’t help but let out a deep moan at how passionate Calum was kissing him.

He was quick to be touching Calum too and he put his one hand in Calum’s hair as he kept massaging his fingers in it while his other hand moved to Calum’s thigh and Calum flinched at the intimate touch then he let out soft moan that gave Ashton chills before they were kissing in a fast motion again.  
Ashton started moving his hand up and down Calum’s thigh in soft and slow motion as he slowed their kiss down a bit and Calum let out a content sigh at the slow pace which made Ashton smile and move his lips to start kissing his cheek again.

“Ash” Calum whispered and Ashton moved his head back to look at Calum directly.

“Yeah?”

“Will you umm…” Calum was doing that thing again where he started shutting down and he looked down at his lap.  
Ashton put his fingers under Calum’s chin to make the shy boy look at him and he smiled before kissing Calum’s nose then he stayed close to his face.

“It’s just me. You can ask me whatever you want, Cal” he spoke softly and it seemed to work because Calum nodded and seemed like he was going to finish his sentence.

“Will you be my boyfriend?” and Ashton’s stomach was so filled with butterflies that he thought he was going to explode.

Calum was probably starting to get worried when Ashton didn’t respond right away so Ashton was quick to calm him. He brought his lips to Calum’s again and kissed him softly before he nodded and he felt Calum smile against him.

“Yeah...” Ashton said out of breath even though they hadn’t even been kissing that long; Calum words alone must have taken his breath away “Yeah…yeah I’’ll be your boyfriend. Fuck” Ashton said overwhelmed before he was diving forward again and kissing Calum more fiercely as he put his hands on Calum’s neck and Calum’s hands came up to rub against Ashton’s biceps as he breathed just as heavily as Ashton.

Ashton was Calum’s boyfriend and honestly Ashton had never felt more alive than here right now with Calum outside of this 7/11.


	2. Cherry Street

_“There’s a place on the corner of Cherry Street. We would walk on the beach in our bare feet. We were both 18 and it felt so right. Sleeping all day, staying up all night”_

*

The sand felt cold against his feet as he dug his heels into it and he sat with both of his hands behind him as he looked up at the stars waiting on the boy that he always seemed to be waiting on but he never got sick of it; he’d wait on him for years if he had to because the wait was always worth it.  
He watched as the waves kept hitting the shore and even from here Ashton could tell how cold the water was.

He looked to the right and read the street sight that read “Cherry Street” just making sure that he had the right beach and then he was letting out a huff and closing his eyes as the warm breeze washed over him.

He heard a cat whistle to the left of him and he smiled before opening his eyes, already knowing who the sound came from.  
His curls blew out of his face when he turned to the left and then he smiled even wider when he seen that the boy wasn’t alone.

“Is she even allowed out here?” Ashton shouted a bit.

“If she isn’t then I guess they’ll just have to fucking arrest me” the boy said back with confidence and Ashton let out a chuckle before being attacked by the ball of fur that came running towards him.

Ashton ran his hand through the puppy’s fur and let her sit on his lap once she calmed down a bit.

Ashton seen her all the time, because he was with Calum all the time, but yet she always greeted him like she hadn’t seen him in years.

Ashton bent his head down to look at the husky puppy’s blue eyes and she greeted him once again with a quick lick to the face and Ashton made a grossed out sound before wiping his face with the top of his shirt.

Calum plopped down next to him, their legs touching, and then it was Calum’s turn to give him a kiss and Ashton enjoyed his kiss much more than the last one he got.

Calum leaned over and rested one hand on the small of Ashton’s back before he was kissing him on the cheek then Ashton was turning his head to kiss the boy on the lips and Calum smiled before kissing him back.

“You been drinking?” Ashton backed up to look at him when he tasted rum and pineapple on the boys’ lips and he cocked an eyebrow at Calum.  
Calum wasn’t a huge drinker, and he especially wasn’t the type of drink by himself because he was more of a social drinker, so it had Ashton a bit worried.

Yet again, Calum only drank rum and pineapple juice when he was stressed so Ashton knew he wasn’t just drinking for fun.

“Yeah” Calum said in a guilty tone and Ashton took his hand out of Stella’s fur to run it through Calum’s hair in a comforting manor instead “Just been really stressed about that senior project; you know I’ve only got a few more weeks to finish it”

“You’ll finish it, baby” Ashton said before pressing a kiss to Calum’s forehead “I’ll come over to help you tomorrow if you want” and Calum was instantly nodding at that and actually seeming like he was relaxing.

“That’s kind of why I told you to come meet me out here tonight…I just needed to get away with it and calm down a bit” Calum said and Ashton kept his eyes on him “Plus I think Stella missed you” he said cracking a smile and Ashton smiled too before looking down and seeing the puppy fast asleep on his lap “And I missed you too” Calum said quietly and more seriously this time and Ashton nodded before cupping Calum’s cheek and pecking his lips “It’s just been so hectic lately and I haven’t seen you nearly as much as I want to, you know?”

“I know” Ashton spoke softly because he could relate to that feeling so well.

With it being their last year of high school and all they’ve been so busy with school work that they’ve barely had time to breathe, let alone time to hang out and just relax and Ashton hated it; he missed his boy so much

“But after school lets out we’ll have all the time in the world, okay?” and Calum nodded at his words before turning and resting his head on Ashton’s shoulder. Ashton kissed the top of his head and then rested his head in that same place and they both let out sighs of content.

Suddenly a seagull was making a loud screeching noise and it startled Stella and soon she was running a few feet away towards the bird before Calum was calling her back.

“We should take her for a walk” Calum said already starting to stand up and Ashton followed the action. He stretched then put his arms down and Calum was looking back at him with a smile before he was grabbing Ashton’s hand and Ashton brought up their hands and kissed the back of Calum’s palm before he was smiling back. By now Calum was blushing like a fool and Ashton chuckled before beginning to lead the way down the beach with Stella walking excitedly in front of them.

They walked right along the shore as the water would wash over their bare feet and Stella kept putting her head in the water every single time which made both of the boys laugh.

“So…prom is next weekend” Calum randomly said and it brought a smile to Ashton’s face.

“It is” he nodded.

Ashton wasn’t particularly into going to dances and him and Calum had skipped the homecoming dance every year so he figured that Calum was actually wanting to go to this dance if he was mentioning it.

“Are you going?” Calum asked next and Ashton almost rolled his eyes.

“Yeah I am” Ashton began with his sarcastic tone “I asked that nerdy kid in math class and he said yes so I’m pretty excited”

“Fuck off” Calum said dying laughing and Ashton couldn’t help and marvel at how beautiful he was “I’m being serious; do you wanna go this year? I mean it’s our last chance to go to a high school dance together” and he was right; as much as Ashton hated dressing up and going to dances he knew he should go to this one with Calum and he decided that he would.

“Hmmm. I’ll think about it” Ashton teased “And then I’ll get back to you” and that had Calum cracking up again and Ashton took his hand out of Calum’s so he could wrap an arm around the boys’ shoulders and bring him into his side. Calum instantly melted into the touch and wrapped an arm around Ashton’s waist then Ashton was putting his hand on the side of Calum’s head and kissing all over his cheek in a messy manor as Calum started to giggle.  
Stella began to bark and both of the boys looked over to see her in the water like she was trying to get them to come in too and soon both of the boys were stripping down to their boxers and jumping in the cold salt water with the excited puppy.

Ashton ended up picking up Stella when he could tell she was getting tired of swimming then Stella was giving him a few licks on the face and he could feel Calum’s eyes on them.

“Get the fishies” Ashton said using his voice that he only used when he was talking to an animal and Stella jumped out of his arms and began putting her head under the water again like she actually understood what Ashton had said.

Stella ended up swimming up to shore again and she plopped down in the sand again, probably ready for a nap with all the swimming she had done, so Calum and Ashton began walking more into the water so that it was up to their chests and Ashton swam right up to Calum and wrapped both arms around his torso to start running his fingers up and down Calum’s back under the water and Calum closed his eyes at the comforting touch then he was getting even closer so that their chest were touching and Ashton leaned their foreheads together as they stared into each other’s eyes.

“I love you” Calum whispered and Ashton almost felt like crying.

Sure they had said “I love you” to each other many times before but for some reason this time it seemed to mean so much more as they swam in the water under the stars, wrapped up in each other.

Ashton pressed a deep kiss to Calum’s lips before he was swimming backwards a bit and getting a big smile on his face and Calum looked so confused.

“Turn that way” Ashton pointed out into the ocean “And don’t look back to the shore until I tell you, okay?”

“Umm okay” Calum chuckled and Ashton didn’t start swimming back to shore until Calum was facing out towards the ocean.

When Ashton got to the sand again he quickly pet a hand through Stella’s damp fur then he began searching for a stick of some kind.

There wasn’t a bunch of trees that were even close to the beach so it was difficult but soon he found a popsicle stick instead and realized that it would have to work.

Before he started writing he looked back and thankfully Calum was still facing the opposite way and Ashton got lost at looking at him before he was focusing on the task at hand.

He began writing the letters and made sure that they were big enough for Calum to see from the water and he was trying to be quick about it because he knew how impatient his boyfriend has always been.

He messed up a few of the letters so he had to go back and fix them but soon he was backing up and seeing his sentence in the sand and he felt happy about it.

He went to one side of the sentence and then faced the ocean to see Calum’s shoulders down in the water now as he still faced into the ocean and Ashton knew he shouldn’t make the boy wait any longer.

“Okay, babe!” he yelled over the sounds of the slight waves “You can turn around now” and he watched with a big smile on his face as the figure in the water turned around quickly. He seen Calum squint a bit which made Ashton laugh but then Calum’s eyes were widening and he put a hand over his face for a few seconds.

He knew his boyfriend would love this and he loved the shocked look on Calum’s face.

Soon Calum was swimming towards the shore as he did the doggy paddle and went under water a few times and when he got out of the water Ashton expected him to run to the sentence just to get a better look at it but instead he found himself with an arm full of Calum. Calum had his legs wrapped around Ashton’s waist as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders and kept kissing him all over his face and Ashton couldn’t stop giggling as he slowly lowered them to the sand and laid down with Calum still attached to him.

Calum moved so that he was straddling Ashton then he started saying “yes” over and over as he pressed kisses on Ashton’s chest and Ashton closed his eyes at how perfect this moment was.

“Fuck yes, I will” Calum said finally able to get out a full sentence and Ashton reached out to cup Calum’s cheek as he rubbed his thumb on his lower lip “I would love to go to prom with you” Calum said before pressing a quick kiss to Ashton’s thumb then playfully nipping at it.

“If you play your cards right I’m gonna be asking you a hell of a bigger question than that one day” Ashton teased but it wasn’t until he seen Calum widen his eyes that he realized how heavy those words really were; he had pretty much just told Calum that he was going to propose to him one day.

“And when you do” Calum began and Ashton’s heart started to beat faster “My answer will be the exact same” and Ashton put his hands on Calum’s neck as he brought him down into a fierce kiss and Calum gave him just as much back.

They came back for air and Calum rested his face in the crook of Ashton’s neck and Ashton put one hand in his hair to start massaging at it as he closed his own eyes.

“I love you so much, Cal” Ashton whispered and put a few kisses in his hair.

“I love you too, Ash”


	3. There's a piece of you that's here with me

_“There’s a piece of you that’s here with me. It’s everywhere I go, it’s everything I see. When I sleep I dream and it gets me by, I can make believe that you’re here tonight”_

*

Ashton was sat in the sand all by himself as he leaned against a palm tree and he watched everyone else having fun while he was nursing his 4th drink.  
The sun was just starting to set and Ashton didn’t know if it was the alcohol or what but he was so amazed by the pink and orange decorating the sky. He usually wouldn’t look twice at any sunset but tonight he couldn’t take his eyes off of it and he wasn’t sure why.

Maybe it was because his thoughts were so sad he wanted to focus on something beautiful in an attempt to cheer himself up; that had to be it.  
Ashton looked out into the water and even though the water was a different color he could almost picture the boy that he was missing so much.  
He could almost see the two of them as their younger selves as they splashed each other in the water and then went running onto the sand once they were starting to become water-logged.

Ashton shared the best of times with that boy and he still wondered how the hell he left him those years ago.

Maybe his younger self was stronger back then and could walk away easier because he knew for sure he wouldn’t even be able to walk away from someone he loved as much as he loved that boy with the puppy dog eyes.

Thoughts of Calum came to him almost constantly but today he had been thinking about the boy like crazy and it was driving him nuts.

It all started with a dream he had about Calum last night. He dreamt that they were 16 again and running down the sidewalk hand and hand on their way to the ice cream shop. The dream was short and simple but it just felt so real that Ashton had actually woken up expecting Calum to be next to him and when he wasn’t…well, Ashton had been on a downward spiral ever since.

This day was supposed to be his happy day too and now it was all ruined because he couldn’t stop thinking about the boy who stole his heart in high school and never really gave it back.

Sure, Ashton had dated after he left California but no one ever came close to making him feel the way that Calum felt and it was so discouraging at times. Ashton was supposed to move on but he just couldn’t seem to make himself do that.

He would see pieces of Calum in everyone he dated and they were always the first thing he would notice about the person which made moving on even that much harder.

Sometimes he swore that he only became interested in certain people because they reminded him of Calum and Ashton knew he had a real problem on his hands but he didn’t know what to do about it.

“It looks like that saying ‘Nobody likes you when you’re 22’ really is true” came a teasing voice and Ashton rolled his eyes and even though he was lonely he still didn’t want anyone around him right now; even if that someone was his best friend.

“The lyrics are “Nobody likes you when you’re 23” which is what age I am you fucking twat” Ashton fired back and he set his drink in the sand before putting his knees up and resting his arms on top of them.

“Are you sure?” Luke said sitting next to him and nearly falling over in the process.

“Yes I’m sure” Ashton scrunched his face up “Why would I lie to you about my age?”

“I don’t know…Why would you?” Luke raised his eyes and Ashton really wasn’t in the mood for his banter.

“Maybe if you’d slow down on those vodka tonics then you would actually know how old I am” Ashton grumbled. Luke always got out of control at parties so he knew he would get crazy at his best friend’s birthday party.

Ashton was the birthday boy but he knew it would be Luke that he would be carrying home at 2am.

“Well maybe if you’d speed up on those…” Luke looked down at Ashton’s drink and studied it “Whatever the fuck that drink is then you wouldn’t be so uptight right now”

“Sorry” Ashton shook his head because Luke was always like this and it never bothered him before, he was just so sad and lonely right now “I’m just really distracted right now”

“Well you shouldn’t be. You should be having fun”

“I know” Ashton nodded “But I just can’t”

“Well what are you thinking about? Tell papa Luke about it” he said scooting closer and putting an arm around Ashton’s shoulders and Ashton chuckled before finishing his drink then setting it back in the sand.

“Did you have a high school sweetheart?” Ashton asked instead of coming out and saying what he was thinking about.

“Hmm” Luke hummed and Ashton guessed that he didn’t if he had to think about it “Not really; although there was this guy I had a major crush on all through high school but he didn’t even know that I existed” and that made Ashton feel bad; his high school crush liked him back but Luke never got to experience that.

“Do you still think about him?” Ashton asked softly. He watched as Luke squinted out into the sky even though the sun was all the way down now then he was nodding a bit.

“Sometimes” he spoke sadly and Ashton began to feel bad for bringing Luke’s mood down “Sometimes I wonder what he’s doing now” Luke looked at Ashton and he could tell that Luke was going to resort the topic back to him “Is that what you’re thinking about? Your high school crush?”

“Yeah but umm….we dated for like three years”

“Shit” Luke said suddenly “Why didn’t you ever tell me about this guy?”

“It hurts to even think about him, Luke….let alone talk about him” Ashton said back and Luke nodded “Anyways I left without really giving him much of a warning which was really shitty of me. We really loved each other and I don’t even know why I fucking left him. I just thought that there were better things for me outside of California but there isn’t” Ashton took a deep breath and let it out before resting his chin on his hands “He was the only thing I needed in my life and I just threw that all away”

“You could try getting ahold of him”

“Yeah…I’m sure his parents still live in California but who knows if he still does” Ashton began to feel so sleepy and all he wanted to do was go home and stop thinking about Calum but with his luck he would probably have another dream of the boy. In his dreams it felt like Calum was there with him which was such an amazing feeling but as soon as he woke up he just felt so horrible and lonely “I just can’t stop thinking about him today”

“Maybe that means he’s thinking a lot about you too” Luke said happily and Ashton chuckled. Luke always believed in stuff like fate, soul mates and all that sappy shit. There was a time when Ashton believed in those things too but now he didn’t even know if he believed in any of it; he had kind of given up on finding love.

“Yeah…maybe” Ashton said back quietly and he started to close his eyes at the sound of the waves.

“You need another drink” Luke said and Ashton opened his eyes to see the boy standing up “What do you got in there?” he said pointing to the empty cup.

“Oh um, rum and pineapple juice” Ashton said back and Luke nodded before he started to walk over to the little bar that they had rented out for Ashton’s party.

It was too late to tell Luke to get him some other drink now but Ashton realized that maybe he shouldn’t be drinking Calum’s favorite drink if he was trying to stop thinking about the boy.

Ashton’s only other option now was to just drink so much that he couldn’t think of anything except for happy thoughts and maybe he would get lucky and not even dream tonight because Ashton needed to stop thinking about Calum or else it would drive him to insanity and he would end up doing something stupid like flying halfway across the country just to see the boy.

No, Ashton was definitely not doing that and that was the bottom line.


	4. I remember the look in your eyes

_“I remember the look in your eyes when I told that this was goodbye. You were begging me not tonight, not here, not now. We’re looking up at the same night sky and keep pretending the sun will not rise. We’ll be together for one more night somewhere, somehow”_

*

Ashton was an idiot; he was the biggest idiot in the world for doing what he was doing right now.

He got wasted last night just like he told himself he would and him and Luke both woke up still on the beach with the worst hangover’s ever but when Ashton was bent over in a bush puking his guts out it was when he made the decision that got him to where he was now.

It was like puking up half of his body weight caused him to not think normally and then he was running back to his house and making the airline arrangements.

It was such an idiotic move and Ashton was really realizing that while he had way too much time to think as he watched the clouds passing by his window. He wasn’t even sure if Calum was still in California and even if he was there who know if he still lived in the same dead end town they lived in.  
Ashton was trying to wrack his brain and think about the road that Calum’s parents used to live on but nothing was coming to him.

They were friends for years so he had no idea why he couldn’t think of it and if he didn’t think of it soon then he was in big trouble because his hopes of finding Calum would go down the drain if he didn’t at least know where to find the boys’ parents.

Ashton didn’t know the name of the street that Calum lived on but he could remember every detail of the night he left the boy and that was the one thing he wished he could forget but no matter how much alcohol he consumed he still was brought back to Calum’s crying face and shaking hands as he begged Ashton to stay.

Ashton got emotional just thinking about that night and closed his eyes wanting to stop the tears before they began and he wasn’t able to stop them.  
Crying on a plane would be a new low and Ashton refused to think about it but the more he tried to stop himself the more his eyes burned and the more he thought about that terrible night four years ago.

*flashback*

_Ashton sat in his room with his face in his hands as he was shaking all over. He been planning what he was going to say ever since last night when his mom told him the news about them moving to Florida but Ashton was still trying to get it right; he knew it would hurt Calum but he still wanted to make this as easy as possible; for the both of them._

_“I fucking hate pizza” Ashton jumped at Calum’s voice as the boy entered his room and Ashton turned his head and subtly wiped his eyes before facing the boy._

_“What?” he tried to laugh but it sounded like he was being choked instead but thankfully Calum didn’t notice it and just fell onto the foot of Ashton’s bed then faced him._

_“Working at that pizza place makes me hate pizza like I never thought I’d get sick of pizza but they give me leftovers everyday and I can’t even stand the taste of it anymore”_

_“You could give the pizza to me” Ashton smiled at him and Calum rolled his eyes._

_“Yeah I guess I will tomorrow” and Ashton cringed at that because there wouldn’t be a tomorrow and right then he almost started to cry again._

_This time Calum noticed that something was off with his boyfriend and he sat up quickly and sat next to Ashton._

_“Ash you okay?” and what was Ashton supposed to say to that? He had to tell Calum today and that was the hardest part because he couldn’t beat around the bush like he normally did when he had bad news._

_“No” Ashton whimpered and as soon as Calum put a hand on the back of his head Ashton just lost it and began to sob into his hands again._

_“Fuck, Ashton” Calum said getting emotional as well and soon Ashton felt Calum put an arm around his shoulder then he was bringing Ashton to his chest and Ashton held on to him tightly “Tell me what’s going on, baby” and Ashton wanted to savor every word that Calum said because he didn’t know if he would ever hear it again. He breathed in the scent of Calum, trying to memorize it and then he was letting out a breath._

_“I have to leave you” Ashton whispered and Calum instantly stopped rubbing a hand on his back at Ashton’s words so Ashton held him tightly again but then Calum was grabbing his arms and pushing them back and Ashton felt so empty without Calum pressed against him._

_Calum looked furious when he looked at him though and Ashton quickly looked back to his lap._

_“What…what the hell are you talking about?” he spit out and Ashton began to shake again._

_“My mom is moving to Florida…says we need a fresh start and I just…I don’t want my family to leave me, I have to go, Calum”_

_“No” Ashton looked up to see Calum frantically shaking his head “You can’t….A-Ashton, You can’t” his voice was so much weaker now and Ashton reached forward to wipe away the tear on his face but Calum was harshly pushing his hand away and Ashton widened his eyes and flinched before putting his hand back on his lap._

_“I have to, baby” Ashton said wanting to touch Calum so badly, to comfort him “There’s nothing for me in California”_

_“There’s me” Calum squeaked out and Ashton felt his heart jump in his throat “You can live with me…I know my parents won’t mind, Ashton. You can just-“_

_“Calum I just…I can’t leave my family”_

_“What about me though?!” Calum got off the bed and the anger was coming back and Ashton was gritting his teeth, not wanting to start sobbing again when Calum needed him “You can’t just fucking leave me, Ashton! Have the last couple years meant nothing to you?”_

_“Fuck of course they’ve meant something to me. They’ve been the best years of my life, Cal”_

_“Then why are you giving up the chance to have more years with me huh?!” and Ashton opened his mouth to answer Calum’s question but nothing was coming out because truthfully he didn’t have an answer to that._

_“You know what…Fuck you, Ashton!” Calum screamed and Ashton flinched but this time he couldn’t stop the sobs that fell from his lips as he covered his mouth with his hand and closed his eyes tightly as he tried to muffle his whimpers._

_He looked up to see Calum fast walking out of his room and turning the corner towards the stairs and Ashton knew this wouldn’t go well but he honestly wasn’t ready for this at all._

_He deserved it though, especially for springing all of this on Calum at the last minute but that part wasn’t his fault; his mother didn’t give him much of a warning either._

_Ashton crawled into his bed and pressed his face into the pillow as he let out loud sobs and he just couldn’t stop them._   
_He was leaving the love of his life tomorrow and it was physically making him sick to his stomach._

_He felt his stomach turning and twisting like someone was punching it and it actually felt like he couldn’t breathe._

_*_

_It was almost an hour later and the sobs were finally stopping and Ashton sat up in his bed and wiped his eyes, still feeling tears falling but at least he wasn’t full on sobbing anymore._

_He knew he couldn’t lay here forever because he still had to find Calum and also he was dying of thirst._

_Calum was his main priority though so he grabbed his keys off his desk and made his way out of his room._

_He figured that there was only a few places that Calum could be but Ashton knew he would search the whole city if he had to._

_He didn’t have to though and he stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Calum at the very end of the hall with his back pressed to the closed bathroom door._

_He had his head in his knees as his shoulders were moving up and down and Ashton was getting that sick feeling coming back to him when he realized that Calum had been crying out here by himself this whole time and he didn’t even know it._

_“Cal, baby” Ashton spoke softly when he was standing right above Calum but Calum still didn’t move as his sobs only seemed to intensify._   
_Ashton squatted down and reached out but then he remembered how harshly Calum had pushed his hand away back in his room._

_“Fuck, baby boy” Ashton felt tears starting to increase in his eyes “Please-please let me hold you” and when Calum didn’t respond Ashton reached his hand out and just softly rubbed it against Calum’s bare arms and Calum didn’t push him away so Ashton took that as a good sign._

_He sat down right in front of Calum on knees then he was wrapping his arms around Calum the best he could in this position then Calum was actually beginning to whimper. Ashton started to kiss everywhere that he could on Calum from his arms to the top of his hair and everywhere in between._   
_Ashton jumped a bit when Calum suddenly took his head out of his knees then he was sitting on Ashton’s lap and wrapping his arms around his shoulders and Ashton instantly wrapped one arm around Calum’s back while the other he used to cup the back of Calum’s head as he massaged his hair, just like he knew Calum loved._

_“Please s-stay” Calum continued to sob “Please just stay with me” Ashton shook his head at the boy’s words and knew his own tears were spilling onto Calum’s skin as he dug his face into his neck._

_“I’ll always be yours though…and you’ll always be my boy” Ashton whispered and kissed Calum’s neck all over “You were my first love and I promise that you’ll be my last, Calum” that only caused Calum to cry more and Ashton started to rock him back and forth as he rubbed his hand up and down the boys’ back in a slow pace._

_*_

_It must have been hours that they just sat in the hallway while Ashton held Calum to his chest but they were now in Ashton’s bed with Ashton in between Calum’s legs._

_They were both only in their boxers but it wasn’t sexual like it had been all the times before._

_Ashton began to press kisses all over Calum’s face first and he heard the boy hum to himself as Ashton rubbed a hand up and down his side._   
_Ashton then moved to Calum’s neck and began sucking bruises into the side of it as he would occasionally bite at the skin, wanting to mark up Calum as much as possible._

_He started to kiss a trail of soft and slow kisses down the center of Calum’s chest and he heard the boy whimper above him. Ashton looked up to see Calum closing his eyes then he went back to the task at hand. He left a few pecks on Calum’s chest before he made it to the boys’ soft tummy._   
_He was kissing Calum’s tummy more fiercely just because it was his favorite part of Calum and he knew this was his last chance to kiss it._

_He moved up slightly to lick over Calum’s ribs a few times before kissing him there too then he went back to his tummy and just breathed heavily against it as he moved his hand to start rubbing up and down Calum’s thigh, squeezing it every now and then._

_Ashton wanted to say over and over how beautiful Calum was and how much he loved him but he knew it wasn’t necessary; his movements and the way he was kissing Calum was enough for the boy to know how much meant to Calum; not to mention that Ashton knew he would start crying again if he starting to speak._

_Ashton moved down to kiss above the lining of Calum’s boxers but then he was quickly moving to kiss and suck bruises into Calum’s thigh as his hand still massaged the other one that he wasn’t kissing._

_It was when Calum started to breathe heavily and massage at his hair that Ashton started to cry again and he watched as a tear fell onto Calum’s leg and he could see Calum instantly sit up on his elbows._

_Ashton sucked in a few breaths, being close to full on sobbing again, then he was pressing his face into Calum’s thigh as he started to let out whimpers and he felt Calum’s hand beginning to massage in his hair again as he cried._

_Soon he felt Calum’s head resting on top of his as the boy’s hands rubbed up and down his back and that only made Ashton cry more._   
_Calum started pressing pecks all over his hair and Ashton felt a few of Calum’s tears fall onto his head._   
_He felt like he wouldn’t be able to cry for years with how much he was crying tonight and he knew Calum had cried just as much as him._

_“C-can we” Ashton began but he had to make himself stop sobbing in order to talk “Can we sit on the roof? Just one last time?” and he felt Calum nodding against him before they were both climbing out of bed, hand in hand just like always were wherever they walked._

_When they got on the roof they both laid on their backs and Ashton didn’t hesitate to intertwine their hands again before putting them both on his chest and he felt Calum curling into his chest and Ashton leaned his head against Calum’s._

_That night they stayed up as long as they could, knowing that this was their last night together._

_Ashton must have wished on every single star in the sky that night that the sun would never come up the next morning so they could be together forever and it was only when he got to a hundred something stars that he let his eyes shut._

*Real time*

Ashton had his head leaned against the window as he kept picturing Calum’s younger self. Ashton knew Calum would look quite a bit older considering the years that have gone by but Ashton knew he would still have that puppy look to him and he smiled to himself, thinking of all the times he called Calum a puppy and how upset the boy would get about it.

He started trying to picture what Calum would look like now but all Ashton could see was Calum’s 19 year old self and he felt like crying with how

beautiful he remembers Calum being and he was sure that was one thing that hadn’t changed.

As a man with a bright red shirt walked by his seat it hit Ashton suddenly and he finally remembered the name of the street that Calum’s parents used to live on.

Memories started to roll in of him and Calum sitting on the porch late at night and just talking about everything and nothing until they were so exhausted that they had to go up to Calum’s room. There was a couple of times that they fell asleep on the swing though and Ashton smiled at still being able to remember how peaceful Calum looked while he slept.

He knew he was hopefully seeing Calum soon but he felt like there were certain things he wouldn’t ever get to see when it came to Calum like the way he slept and the way he looked fresh out of the shower with a towel around his waist and his wet hair dripping on his forehead.

Ashton slumped further into his seat just hoping for sleep to take him away and he would wake up in California being able to see Calum soon.


	5. Let your waves crash down on me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot longer than the others (it's about 9k)

As soon as Ashton stepped out of the airport doors the air felt so much different than Florida air and he breathed it in and closed his eyes at how comforting it was.

He was then wondering how the fuck he even left this place all those years ago; he must have been out of his mind.

He had the beach, he had the nice weather and most importantly he had the love of his life; what else did a person need? But apparently back then Ashton was convinced that he needed more.

He didn’t know if he was wiser or if that saying “you never know what you got till its gone” really was true but he knew how big of an idiot he was back then for leaving this place.

He got in the car that he rented for a couple days and then threw his bags in the back.

He really didn’t know how long he would be staying here because it all depended on if he would even find Calum still living here and if he did then

Calum’s reaction to seeing him had a big factor on how long he would stay also.  
The thought of Calum seeing him and wanting nothing to do with him made him sick to his stomach and Ashton gulped hard, trying not to think of the worst.

He started passing familiar buildings in no time and he knew he was getting close to Calum’s road.

He passed the library that they used to hang out at after closing hours because it had this cool statue that they liked to climb on.

He passed a party store that they used to go to and stock up on orange soda and Doritos for their movie nights and God, did Ashton miss their movie nights. They would usually end up watching the movie that Calum wanted to watch because Ashton could never say no to his puppy dog eyes but Ashton never even cared what they watched; he just loved laying in bed, cuddled up to Calum while they ate their weight in junk food until they both passed out.

Now days Ashton had a hard time enjoying movies, or anything really, and it was really becoming apparent to him how much Calum was his main source of happiness.

Ashton didn’t really know why he was realizing all of this now but he figured it had to do with that dream he had about Calum a couple nights ago; that had to be it.

When he first left Calum he would have dreams about the boy nearly every night and every morning he would wake up crying. That first year after leaving Calum was absolutely terrible but finally the dreams stopped and Ashton wasn’t as miserable as before but he still thought about Calum all the time and the most simple thing could set him into a downward spiral of thinking about his first love.

Ashton took a double look when he passed the too familiar 7/11 and he was immediately pulling into the back parking lot of the store, not even feeling particularly hungry or thirsty, but just knowing that he had to go in there.

As he came around the front of the store then he looked to the bench that looked exactly the same as when he left and he smiled when he could easily picture him and Calum sitting there as they drank slushy’s.

That bench also happened to be the place that Calum asked Ashton to be his boyfriend and Ashton could still remember how happy he was on that night.

Ashton shook himself out of it because he was not going to cry in the middle of the sidewalk outside the 7/11 then he walked into the store causing the bell at the top of the door to ring. As he walked in a young girl with short pink hair glanced up to look at him but then she was looking right back at the magazine in her hand.

Ashton smiled to himself because the only type of people that this 7/11 seemed to hire was people that hated their job.  
The store was as dead as it always was and Ashton was really surprised that it was still in business but he was really glad it was; it just held so many memories.

He walked up to the slushy machine and grabbed a cup, already knowing exactly what he wanted.

He filled the cup with the yellow frozen liquid then looked to his right for some reason as memories flooded to him again.  
Four years ago Ashton had been in this exact spot as Calum stood next to him and Ashton closed his eyes, almost being able to feel Calum standing next to him.

“You alright bro?” came a voice and Ashton jumped, not even hearing anyone come in the store because he was so concentrated on Calum, once again.  
Ashton looked to his right to see a guy with a BIG GULP cup of his own and Ashton nodded before stepping over and letting the kid get to the slushy machine.

He grabbed a lid and a straw and then he could feel the guys eyes on him so he looked over at him.

The guy had bright pink hair with a ripped up surf shirt and he was eyeing Ashton’s slushy in a disgusted way.

“You really like Pineapple slushy’s?” and honestly Ashton didn’t but Calum did so yeah he was drinking it.

“Yeah” Ashton shrugged, not wanting to explain to this stranger the real reason why he was getting a slushy that he didn’t even like.

“I have a friend that does too” he said casually as he pressed the button to the slushy, causing a blue color to pour into his cup “I think he’s nuts” and Ashton couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“Truthfully I’m just getting it because it reminds me of someone I used to know; Pineapple Slushy’s were his favorite” and Ashton felt his face redden as soon as he said it because why was he telling this stranger this and why did he just let the truth spill out like that?

He looked down and rubbed the back of his head when but he could feel the pink haired boy smiling at him.

“Well I can tell you aren’t from here so is that person who you’re here to see?”

“Uh…yeah” Ashton chuckled “Flew all the way from Florida to see him and I’m not even sure if he still lives here” Ashton took his time putting his lid on his cup, acting like that was the reason he was still standing here talking to this stranger.

“Well I hope you find him” pink haired boy beamed at him and Ashton felt himself blushing a bit under his bright eyes “Take it easy man” he nodded and Ashton nodded back at him and continued to stand there until the boy walked past him towards the register.

*

Ashton walked out of the store, breathing in the fresh ocean air again, and now he had a bag of chips and a chocolate bar in his hand after deciding that he really didn’t want to leave the 7/11 yet so he ended up browsing the store for a few more minutes before deciding that he needed to stop stalling.  
He was in his car again and the closer he got to Calum’s old house the more nervous he got and on the plane he didn’t remember being this nervous. What if he seen Calum and the boy didn’t even recognize him at first?

Ashton knew he had more muscles and he got taller in the past years, along with his hair turning more blond from the sun, but other than that he didn’t feel like he had changed that much. Calum on the other hand could have changed a lot and the nervousness was replaced with excitement as he kept wondering what Calum looked like now. Calum was probably taller and had more muscles now too and Ashton almost moaned at the thought of it. Back when they were 19 Calum was still a bit scrawny, Ashton thought he was so beautiful though, and his cheeks were still chubby and Ashton wondered if any of that had changed.

It didn’t take long to get to Calum’s old street and he smiled as he passed all of Calum’s neighbors houses, remembering how they had threw toilet paper on a few of them on Halloween night when they were 15.

Ashton actually felt himself shaking with his hands on the wheel once he was parked in Calum’s driveway. He looked up at the red house with the white shutters and his eyes landed on the window that used to be Calum’s room.

His eyes then roamed down to the beautiful flowers that still surrounded the porch.

Over the years Calum and Ashton did a lot of things to mess up Calum’s house but they both knew better than to ever mess with Joy’s flowers and it was so comforting to Ashton that they were still here and she still kept up with watering them.

He didn’t know how it would make him feel if he pulled in the driveway to see a bunch of dead flowers; it would probably make him scared that Calum’s parents had moved out of the house.

Without wasting any more time he stepped out of his car wearing his red shirt with white around the collar, his black skinny jeans and a white snapback that controlled his curls a bit.

He felt himself smiling when he stepped onto the front porch and the first board still creaked a bit. It was crazy how all these little things still stuck with Ashton.

He got to the front door, took a deep breath and put his knuckles up to the door but didn’t knock just yet. He had to at least have a bit of plan of what he was going to say without seeming completely crazy for flying all the way across the country just to see Calum; although Calum’s parents were aware of how much him and Calum cared about each other so maybe they wouldn’t think he was crazy if he told them the truth.

He finally knocked twice and then put his hand back down and stuck both of them in the pockets of his jeans as he rocked on his heels a bit, feeling fluttering in his stomach that he hadn’t gotten since he left Calum.

Only a few seconds went by before the door was opening and the scent from the house that smelled of fresh laundry was hitting him and Ashton bit his lip as he looked at who was answering the door.  
Calum’s mother looked exactly the same and he smiled but she didn’t return it and that made Ashton worry. Maybe she was still mad at him for just leaving her son.

“Can I help you?” she spoke softly and Ashton got understood now; she didn’t recognize him.

“Uh yeah…” Ashton swallowed hard “It’s me Mrs. Hood….Ashton Irwin” and only a few seconds went by then she was widening her eyes and she was leaning forward and Ashton felt her small arms wrap around him. He chuckled and hugged her back and Ashton felt so much better now that he knew she wasn’t mad at him.

“Oh my god, Ashton” she said once she let him go and faced him again “Where have you been living?” and that hurt a bit; he found it strange how Calum didn’t tell her and then maybe it occurred to him that Calum was so upset about him leaving that he didn’t even want to talk about it.

“Florida” Ashton nodded and he was already getting so anxious. He knew he had to get to the point soon or else Joy would invite him inside then he would have to wait longer to see Calum “I was just wondering if you knew where I could find Calum” he felt so shy saying that last sentence but she instantly smiled.

“Well he works at the surf shop over on Ocean Avenue now” she said and Ashton nodded, knowing that that was right near the beach that him and Calum used to hang out at.

“Thank you” Ashton said excitedly and he started to back up but then he felt bad a bit “I would stay and talk to you but-“

“Go find him, honey” she said swooshing her hand away and Ashton chuckled then nodded before he was turning on his heels and jogging down the porch steps towards his car again.

*

Ashton didn’t have any trouble finding the surf shop because he still knew this whole neighborhood like the back of his hand and soon he was parking his car and getting out.

This time he didn’t let his nerves take over and instead he fast walked towards the shop, just being so sick of having to wait to see Calum. He had waited four years and he didn’t know if he could wait another second.

As he stepped inside there was loud indie music blaring from behind the counter but there wasn’t anyone actually at the counter and Ashton squinted as he looked around the shop, still not seeing any workers and he started to become worried. Maybe he had the wrong shop? But he was sure there was only one surf shop in this neighborhood so that couldn’t be it. 1

He started to look at all the bright colored shirts and surf boards lining the top of the ceiling as he passed through the store towards the front counter.

“Hello?” Ashton said with a slight chuckle, hoping that a worker would hear him and maybe that worker would be Calum and God, he hoped so.  
He looked down to look at a few of the shoes in front of the counter and noticed that he liked basically all of them then a voice was knocking him out of his trance.

“Sorry, I was taking a leak. What can I help you with?” came the voice and Ashton instantly looked up to see the familiar boy; either this was a small world or someone was fucking with him.

“Aye!” said the boy with a big smile “Pineapple slushy boy. Are you following me?” he said cocking an eyebrow that had a piercing through it that Ashton didn’t notice before then he laughed a bit and put a hand through his hair as he leaned his hips against the counter.

“No this must just be a small world” Ashton said back and pink haired boy smiled back then he was stepping closer.

“So you surf?” he said first and Ashton furrowed his eyebrows, wondering why the boy would ask that then he remembered that he was in a surf shop after all. It was just that in his head all he was focused on was that this was where he would find Calum, he had forgotten that he was even in a surf shop.

“Oh...no” Ashton shook his head quickly and pink haired boy must be so confused “I was told that Calum would be umm…” Ashton peered behind the counter, hoping he would see the boy “working here but I guess I have the wrong store so I’ll just-“ he was interrupted by the boy laughing like he had just watched one of those funny cat videos on YouTube and Ashton pouted a bit, wondering if he was being punk’d or something.

After the boy calmed down he wiped his eyes then he was crossing his arms and leaning against the wall behind the counter that was covered in posters of professional surfers.

“This is a small world after all; you’ve got the right store, bro” he said and Ashton started frantically looking around the store, hoping that Calum was going to pop out at any second “What are you an old friend from high school?” he said friendly enough but Ashton’s heart was beating so fast, just wanting to cut the small talk and see Calum already.

“Old boyfriend” he said out quickly, without really thinking “Is he here?” Ashton finally looked back to the pink haired boy but now that calm and friendly vibe to him was completely gone and honestly Ashton felt like the boy wanted to cause him physical pain with the glare that was on his face.

“Old boyfriend” he said with gritted teeth and Ashton was so incredibly confused as to why this kid was all of a sudden getting so angry with him “You’re Ashton aren’t you?” he asked like he already knew the answer but Ashton nodded anyways and then everything was starting to come back to him.

Back at the 7/11 while they were talking about slushy’s the friend that the pink haired boy had been talking about was Calum. This guy was friends with Calum and Ashton gripped the counter a bit.

“Sorry but I just don’t understand what’s going on right now” he managed to get out and the boy did a chuckle then he was rolling his eyes away.

“I’m Calum’s friend and I was the one who picked up all the pieces after you just fucking left him” and Ashton flinched at his sharp words “So I’m not gonna lie…I kind of want to kick your ass right now”

“Well I think I’d deserve that” he said honestly and he watched as the pink haired boy nodded then he was reaching a hand out and Ashton backed up a bit as his quick movements which caused the other boy to chuckle a bit.

“I’m Michael” he said and Ashton let out a breath before shaking the boy’s hand. He watched as Michael took a few steps back then leaned against the wall again and tapped his tongue on the roof of his mouth like he was thinking “Listen, I get off in a half hour and then I’ll take you to where Calum is” and Ashton didn’t really know why Michael didn’t trust him to go see Calum by himself but Ashton knew he shouldn’t be picky; he was getting to see Calum and that was all that mattered.

“Yeah, yeah that sounds great” he shot out and Michael did a small smile before he was getting out his phone and focusing on that instead.

Ashton knew he could easily just go sit in his car and wait for Michael’s shift to be done but for some reason he felt himself staying in the surf shop and just sat on one of the benches by the window as he played on his phone but his hands were shaking so bad that he couldn’t really focus on it.

Instead he sent a quick text to Luke that consisted of him saying how he was seeing Calum soon and it had way too many explanation points and smiling faces but he couldn’t help it; he was just so happy.

*

The half hour seemed to drag on but Ashton just kept focusing on the cars that were going by and the coldness of the window on his face.

“You ready to do go, Pineapple Slushy?” Michael suddenly said and Ashton chuckled after he realized that that was his new nickname that Michael was giving him then he was jumping up from the wooden bench.

He looked over to see Michael pocketing his phone then grabbing some keys off of the counter before he was walking towards the door and Ashton followed quickly behind him.

He watched as Michael locked the door then they were making their way out of the AC filled shop and into the heat but Ashton loved the feeling of the sunlight on his face; it was somehow a different kind of heat than he got in Florida.

“You can ride with me” Michael said like Ashton had no choice but Ashton kind of hesitated as he just slowly walked behind Michael.

Michael was Calum’s friend but to Ashton he was still a stranger and Ashton started to think about all those crime shows he’d watch with Luke where people would accept rides from people they didn’t know then months later their family would find them dead and mutilated in the woods or something.

Ashton knew he was overreacting though so he quickly caught up to Michael and seen the boy getting in the driver’s seat door of a yellow jeep with a surf board strapped to the top of it so Ashton went around and got in the passenger side.

Michael was starting the car then rolling all the windows down and Ashton was actually glad that he didn’t turn on the AC instead because Ashton wanted to feel the warm breeze on his face as they drove; it always calmed him.

His nervousness started to come back as Ashton started to think about the possibility of Calum not being single. No matter how much Ashton wanted to be with him he knew it wouldn’t be that easy, or even possible, but the idea of Calum being with someone else made him feel so sick and Ashton felt the words spilling out of his mouth before he could even stop them.

“Is umm…is Calum like with- I mean” he cursed at himself for stumbling over his words and it made it worse when Michael started to laugh at him and Ashton shot him a glare.

“Are you asking me if Calum is dating someone?” Michael said in a teasing tone and Ashton looked at him and nodded then he held his breath until he heard the answer “No he is not” and Ashton let out the breath he had been holding before tugging at the curls hanging out from his snapback.

“That’s a relief” he said without thinking about how bad that sounded “I mean I would want him to be happy but I just-“

“I get it” Michael laughed again “If everything that Calum told me about you guys is anything to go by I know how close you guys were” he nodded then looked over to see Michael tapping the wheel to the muffle of the radio.

Ashton looked back out the window and started to notice that they were leaving town and he was about to ask where the hell they were going but then Michael was letting out a laugh and Ashton looked at him.

“What?” he said and Michael shook his head.

“It’s just kind of funny how you drink pineapple slushy’s just because Calum likes them and Calum eats Sour Cream and Onion chips even though he doesn’t like them” and Ashton felt his heart picking up as he smiled like a love sick puppy.

Michael was then looking over at him and cocking an eyebrow with a smirk on his face.

“You don’t happen to like Sour Cream and Onion chips do you?” and Ashton found himself smiling too.

“They’re my favorite” he said back and Michael nodded before looking back to the road.

“Ridiculous” he said with a large amount of fond in his voice and Ashton couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face.

*

Soon they were coming up to a hill that Ashton actually recognized but it was a place where people surfed and since him and Calum never surfed they never went here but he guessed that things had changed since then.

They stepped out of the car and the air up here was much cooler with a big increase in the wind but Ashton didn’t mind it; it was kind of hard to focus on anything other than Calum.

Michael began walking slowly up the hill and thankfully there was stairs and Ashton followed as he looked ahead and seen nothing except for blue water in front of him.

“So Calum surf’s?’ Ashton finally got the guts to ask.

“Yeah I taught him a few years ago” Michael slightly shouted over the loud wind in their ears.  
Ashton all of a sudden started to think about what Calum would look like in a wet suit but he was torn away from his thoughts by someone yelling up at them.

They were almost down to the bottom of the stairs now and it was only then that Ashton could see three people in black wetsuits on the beach. One was facing them, which Ashton guessed was the person who yelled to get Michael’s attention, and the other two had their backs to them as they looked at the ocean. All three of them had their wet suits zipped halfway down and tied at their waists and Ashton started to walk faster just wanting to see which one was Calum already. He was walking so fast that he ended up accidently stepping on the back of Michael’s shoe.

“Sorry”

“Relax” Michael chuckled “He’s not going anywhere” and yeah Michael was right, but that still didn’t stop Ashton from just wanting to see him already; he had waited long enough.

They finally stepped out onto the beach and in the sand it was harder to walk fast but Ashton still tried his hardest as he was actually walking a bit ahead of Michael.

“About fucking time, Clifford!” one yelled but Ashton knew the voice didn’t belong to Calum so he didn’t tear his eyes away from the other two boys’ sitting in the sand.

They both had shaggy brown hair and were built very similar so Ashton still couldn’t tell which one was Calum.

As they got closer though Ashton felt his nervousness coming back and he started to bite his lip and slow down his walking without noticing it. He didn’t notice it until Michael was walking in front of him then turning around as he still was walking backwards.

“Don’t go getting all nervous on me now” Michael said with a teasing tone and Ashton didn’t know how this kid could read him so well.

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?” Ashton said out weakly but Michael was instantly shaking his head.

“He does. I wouldn’t have brought you out here unless he did” and that made Ashton relax quite a bit; Michael was Calum’s best friend after all.

“Okay” Ashton nodded, trying to calm himself down then Michael was turning around and beginning to speed up a bit.

Ashton didn’t even know how long he just zoned out on the sand in front of his feet but then he could hear voices that were even closer to him than before.

He whipped his head up and some guy with short blond hair was slapping hands with Michael and Ashton realized that he had fallen behind quite a bit so he jogged to be closer to Michael. He kept looking over at the two boys sitting down that still didn’t turn their heads and Ashton hated how he still couldn’t tell which one was Calum but it made his stomach do flips, knowing that Calum was one of them.

He then looked to Michael, feeling a bit helpless, and he wondered what his next move should be.

Luckily Michael looked back at him then he was smiling softy and for once there wasn’t a teasing look to it which made Ashton feel better.

“Rile’s!” Michael suddenly yelled in the direction of the two boys sitting in the sand and Ashton looked to see the one on the right looking back and beginning to stand up…which meant that Calum was the one still sitting and Ashton felt his heart just about ready to beat out of his chest. Calum was still a couple feet away from him but this the closest that Ashton had been to him and years so he was freaking out a bit…or a lot.

Suddenly the boy who was standing up ruffled Calum’s hair and Ashton watched from a distance as Calum turned his head to smile brightly at the boy then push his hand away.

Ashton took a step forward but didn’t get any further than that because he didn’t even know if he could go talk to Calum right now or if he was allowed to.

Michael seemed to be the one in charge right now but he hadn’t said anything to Ashton and Ashton was about to ask if he could but he just couldn’t take his eyes away from the side of Calum’s face who was still talking to the boy who was standing up.

“Riley!” Michael shot out again “Come here, Jesus Christ” Michael let out a slight laugh but it was obvious what the pink haired boy was trying to do now; he was trying to get Calum alone so Ashton could go talk to him.

He watched as Calum turned all the way around in the sand as he started to rub at his leg and now he was fully facing Ashton and Ashton was really able to take him in; and he looked as stunning as ever. Calum’s skin was glowing under the sun and his hair was a lot longer than when Ashton had seen it but he loved it. He loved everything about Calum back then and he loved everything about Calum now. He was convinced that he would love Calum forever.

He watched as Calum ran his hand through his hair and the he was looking up and seemed to be nodding his head at Michael but Ashton was standing right next to Michael so Ashton started to shake again; knowing that any moment Calum could be looking at him.  
And then he was and Calum squinted his eyes a bit but Ashton felt his stomach flutter with having Calum’s eyes on him.

“Holy shit” Ashton said out loud and he knew Michael heard him because he let out a chuckle.

“Go talk to him” Michael pushed at his shoulder and Ashton looked back at him with scared eyes.

When he looked back to Calum his eyes weren’t squinting anymore and instead they were just as wide as they could be as he still stared at Ashton but now his lips were parted like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing and Ashton didn’t blame him; he was going through the same thing.  
He watched as Calum stood up and began walking towards him and Ashton ran his eyes all over Calum which each step that the boy took.

He finally settled back on Calum’s face but he couldn’t read his expression. Calum lips were pursed and his jaw was less chubby and more sharp now. He watched Calum lick his lips and Ashton felt his body heat up when Calum was only a foot away from him and Ashton felt speechless.

“Hi, Ashton” he spoke and Ashton got chills and he couldn’t help but step forward. He felt his body overheat even more when Calum’s eyes flicked up and down him a bit more before settling on his face.

“H-hey” Ashton stuttered out and Ashton almost got upset with himself for not being able to hold himself together but then Calum was letting out a chuckle and smiling wide and Ashton let out a relieved sigh. He felt like the old Calum he used to know so well was unraveling right before his eyes as Calum kept smiling at him “You uh…you look good” he said out fast and this time he really was mad at himself because that was such a stupid thing to say.

“Do I now?” there was a smirk on his face and a teasing tone that Ashton didn’t recognize coming from Calum but it did sound like the tone that Michael had been using towards him basically ever since he met the boy and Ashton smiled and nodded “Well you don’t look too bad yourself, Ash” and the nickname sounded so warm and familiar coming off his lips and Ashton wanted to bathe in the feeling he had in his chest right now.

“Thanks” Ashton bit at his lip and then watched Calum walk around him and pick up a towel that was laying in the sand.

“So what brings you here?” and that familiar tone to his voice was gone, now it seemed like Ashton was a stranger to Calum with the way he was talking to him and it made Ashton feel awful.  
By now Michael and the other boy’s were walking towards the stairs and Ashton swallowed hard when he realized it was just him and Calum.

“I missed you” Ashton said weakly but it caused Calum to look at him again. He knew it was best to be honest right from the beginning. There was nothing but fondness on Calum’s face and Ashton stepped closer wanting nothing more than to just hold the boy but then Calum’s face was turning into something more dark and it made Ashton’s skin crawl.

“So it took you four years to start missing me?” Calum shot back and Ashton felt speechless. This was the way that Calum had been talking to him when he had first told him the news about him moving across the country.

“No I uh…I just-“

“It’s been four fucking years, Ashton” and Ashton clenched his eyes shut tightly as he just wanted everything to be okay between them in a blink of an eye but he knew life wasn’t that easy and he would have to work for Calum’s forgiveness but he was going to do it. He was willing to do whatever it took to get Calum’s forgiveness.

“I know” Ashton nodded and it wasn’t until he spoke that he heard how crackly his voice was and that was when he felt the first tear run down his cheek but he was quick to wipe away. He looked up and Calum’s face had softened, but only a bit “But you have to know that I didn’t ever stop thinking about you, not even for a day. I just-fuck” Ashton gritted his teeth not wanting to start sobbing “I had a dream about you the day before my birthday. It just felt so real and it just woke something up in me; made me realize a lot of things”

“Like what?” Calum asked softly and Ashton took another step forward.

“Like how shitty my life has been ever since I left you, that I can’t even date anyone without being reminded of you” Ashton took a deep breath and got lost in the way Calum blinked at him “As soon as I was on that plane to Florida I regretted leaving you; I know how badly I fucked up” Calum just stood there staring at him for what felt like centuries and Ashton just wanted to reach out and touch him so badly that he ended up putting his hands in this pockets to stop himself.

“I haven’t been able to date anyone either since you left” Calum mumbled while looking down at the sand and Ashton watched the way his wet hair fell into his eyes.

“I’m sorry” Ashton couldn’t help but say but it caused Calum to look up at him with a confused face.

“Why are you sorry?”

“Cause you deserve to be happy”

“So do you” Calum said back softly and Ashton closed his eyes. He just felt so close to Calum in this moment; it felt like old times and he felt so comfortable leaning forward and hugging the boy but he forced himself not to. He had his eyes closed still as he faced his head down so he didn’t even noticed when Calum was standing only inches from his face but soon he felt a hand under his chin and his eyes shot open “Ash” he said beginning to cup Ashton’s cheek and Ashton felt electricity shoot though him at having Calum touch him once again. He rubbed his face into Calum’s hand and felt another tear running down his face but this time Calum swiped it away with is finger and just held Ashton’s face tighter “Hey, have dinner with us tonight. Are you staying?”

“I’ll stay as long as you want me to” Ashton said before his brain could even catch up. Ashton also felt like saying “I’m never leaving you again” but he held his tongue, feeling like it would be too much to say.

“Okay” Calum nodded with a shy smile on his face then he was pushing his wet hair out of his face and Ashton knew he was probably being a creep but he couldn’t help but watch Calum’s every movement “Let’s go eat; I’m starving” he said with a chuckle then he was patting Ashton’s shoulder before he walked past him and Ashton was quick to walk next to him towards the stairs. It felt so platonic walking with Calum and not holding hands but Ashton knew he couldn’t be picky; he had Calum and that was all that mattered.

*

They ended up going to some Crab Shack that Calum told Ashton him and Michael went to every Friday and Ashton really did like Michael but what he loved even more was the way Calum and Michael were together.

He was walking a bit behind them as they entered the Crab Shack and Michael had one arm around Calum’s shoulders as he kept messing Calum’s hair up and Calum kept pushing at his hip to try and make him stop but Michael would just laugh loudly and throw his head back as he closed his eyes.

They took a seat by the window and it seemed to be the one they always sat by because Michael pushed past Calum before he was sliding in and making sure that he was sitting by the window.

Ashton slid in across from Michael and looked up, a bit curious as to who Calum was going to sit by but Ashton smiled wide when Calum chose to sit next to him.

“I see how it is” Michael said sticking up his nose at them and then he was opening his mouth wide and rolling his eyes back in his head as he bent over a bit like Calum must have kicked him under the table and Ashton couldn’t help but giggle into his hand.

“How did you guys meet up anyways?” Calum suddenly said after they were given their beers and then he started laughing “I mean holy shit what are the odds” and Ashton had to agree to that; it was pretty weird how Ashton had run into Michael in the 7/11 and it only got more weird from there.

“I first met him in the 7/11 and he was getting a pineapple slushy like another noob I know” Michael said like he was complaining and Ashton grinned at him “It was fate Cal Pal” he said and right then Ashton was reminded of Luke.

“Guess so” Calum chuckled then Ashton felt Calum’s eyes on him and he turned to look at the boy. Their faces were so close and Ashton couldn’t help but quickly glance at the boys’ lips “Were you at the 7/11 that…you know…” Calum drifted off but Ashton knew exactly what he was asking.

“Yeah” Ashton said softly as he nodded and Calum smiled at him before looking back to the table but Ashton kept looking at him.  
Michael was suddenly clearing his throat and Ashton looked at him and realized that he Michael had seen him staring and he felt his cheeks getting hot.

“Do you have any friends back home?” Calum asked and it made Ashton laugh “I mean of course you have friends” he corrected himself “but like do you have anyone that you hang out more than anyone else?”

“He’s trying to ask you who you’ve replaced him with as your best friend” Michael spoke up and Ashton smiled a bit before playing with the plastic on his menu.

“Well there’s Luke” he said honestly and that had Calum sitting up straight and looking over at Ashton “He’s my main bro these days”

“I wanna see him” Michael said before Calum could even respond and Ashton laughed before getting his phone out and searching for a photo of him. He finally settled on one and picked the one he took of Luke when they were vacationing in Bali two summers ago.

“That’s the nerd” Ashton chuckled and handed the phone over to Michael to show him the [photo](http://clifford-affliction.tumblr.com/post/148106084549) “He always makes me take photos of him” and Ashton was about to say more about their vacation but then he seen Michael’s eyes practically bulging out of his head.

“Mike’s you okay?” Calum laughed but Michael was still looking down at the photo.

“Why didn’t you tell me he was this hot?” Michael said like he was actually offended.

“I don’t know” Ashton laughed out “He’s my best friend”

“I wanna see him” Calum whined but Michael was still looking at the phone “Michael let me see”

Finally Michael was muttering a “wow” then handing the phone over to Calum and Ashton didn’t like the way Calum gasped a bit.

“Shit he is hot” Calum said and Ashton felt himself getting a bit sad. He had never heard Calum say that anyone else was hot.

“Don’t even think about it” Michael said pointing a finger at him “I already called dibs”

“Jesus Christ” Ashton mumbled and rolled his eyes away from them both; he couldn’t believe they were having this conversation about his best friend.

“Don’t worry, you can have him” Calum chuckled and that did make Ashton relax a little but he was still thinking about how Calum called Luke hot and he was getting a bit jealous.

Calum was then sliding Ashton’s phone over to him but Ashton kept looking out the window.

His focus was back on Calum in seconds though when he felt a hand sliding into his own under the table and he looked down with widened eyes; Calum was actually holding his hand.

He felt Calum squeeze his hand and Ashton squeezed back then he watched as Calum was bringing their hands to his own lap and then Calum started to rub soothing circles onto Ashton’s hand with his thumb and Ashton closed his eyes for a few seconds then looked up to see the biggest smile on Calum’s face.

Calum had never said with words that he missed Ashton but in this moment, with Calum rubbing at his skin and the way he kept squeezing his hand, he could feel it; he could feel how much Calum had missed him and he felt a kind of happiness that he hasn’t felt in years.

*

After they ate enough crab to make their stomachs hurt Calum ended up driving Ashton to get his car at the surf shop then Ashton followed them back to Calum’s house when Calum insisted that he stay with him tonight and Ashton didn’t want to be anywhere else.

He was soon pulling into a driveway with a small blue house at the end of it that was right on the ocean and when he got out of the car he could once again smell the California ocean air and he couldn’t believe how much he already missed it.

The front of the porch had fairy lights all across it with a hammock hanging in the corner of the porch and all of it was so Calum that Ashton couldn’t help but smile.

He made sure to catch up to Calum and Michael so he could walk close to Calum and he felt his heart skip a beat when Calum playfully bumped into him and smiled wide because it felt just like old times.

Back at the Crab Shack they had all crowded into one side of the booth and took a picture and on the drive over to Calum’s Ashton couldn’t stop glancing at it every few seconds. Him and Calum just looked so natural together and it was as if he never left.

Soon they were walking into the house and Ashton took in the sight of the living room with a big screen TV by the window and 3 brown suede couches that looked so comfy.

It had been dark for some time now so Ashton figured they would be going to sleep soon and he laughed when Michael yawned loudly and started walking towards the stairs behind the living room.

All of a sudden a dog was emerging from a back room and was putting its from paws on Ashton’s chest and Ashton let the dog lick his face as he was giggling

“Get down Stella” Calum said with a laugh and Ashton didn’t mind at all; he had missed the hell out of this dog “Looks like she missed you” and Ashton looked up to see Calum smiling fondly at the both of them.

“I missed her too” he said petting over her fur and then the dog was running off into the back of the house again.

“I uhh” Calum began as he turned to Ashton and Ashton instantly focused on him “I always let Michael sleep in my bed but you can sleep in the guest room; if you don’t mind” he said then he was pointing to the door by the TV.

“No I don’t mind” Ashton said instantly. He of course would rather sleep next to Calum but yet again he kept telling himself he couldn’t be greedy.

“Michael will just whine and whine anyways if he doesn’t get his way” Calum said with a chuckle and Ashton nodded with a smile.

“I can see that” he said back and it made Calum laugh. Ashton had forgotten how much he loved making Calum laugh.  
Calum was then stepping forward like some kind of reflex but then he was stopping and looking a bit sad and God, Ashton wanted to hold him and touch him so badly.

“Well night, Ash” he said quietly as he looked up and down Ashton’s face.

“Night, Cal” Calum nodded at his words with a sad smile on his face then Ashton watched as Calum was walking toward the stairs.  
Ashton let out a breath and started walking over towards the open door right off the living room.

“I’m really happy you’re back” Calum’s voice said and Ashton turned to see him standing in the middle of the staircase, looking down at him “I’ve missed you a lot” and those words were enough to make Ashton start crying again but he gritted his jaw and looked down at the floor before speaking, knowing he couldn’t look at Calum and say the words without crying.

“I’ve missed you so much, Cal” he whispered but the house was dead silent so he knew Calum heard him.

Ashton didn’t move to start walking into the room until he heard footsteps again then when they stopped he looked up at the stairs and seen Calum stood at the top of them for a few seconds before he was turning down the hall.

Ashton walked over to the empty bed and collapsed on it before grabbing his phone. He decided to send the photo of him, Michael and Calum to Luke before he went to sleep with the message “Things are going great” because they really were and he wanted Luke to know that he was doing good.  
Only a minute went by before Luke was texting him back and Ashton found that weird because Luke was the slowest texter in the century.

_Luke_

_The pink haired boy is cute as hell. I’m on my way to Cali as we speak_

And Ashton laughed at that; of course Luke would like the boy back so he quickly texted Luke back saying that Michael thought he was cute too and all he got back in return was a bunch of heart eye smiley faces and he chuckled out loud.

He knew he would have to do some matchmaking tomorrow and have Luke and Michael talk on the phone or something like that. They were kind of perfect for each other once Ashton thought about it.

For now though he knew he had to get to sleep but it was hard when he thought about how Calum was right upstairs from him and Ashton knew he couldn’t cuddle him.

Thankfully sleep came soon and Ashton knew he didn’t have to dream about Calum to be happy because Calum was back in his life again and Ashton would do anything to make sure it stayed that way.

*

When he woke up he realized it was still dark out and he could faintly feel something pressing up against him from behind but he was half asleep so he didn’t think anything of it and instead let his head fall back into the pillow.

It wasn’t until he felt an arm wrapping around his chest that he opened his eyes and looked down to sure enough see an arm around him and it had been so long since he had felt this feeling in his chest.

He didn’t know what was going on but he didn’t hesitate to put his hand on Calum’s arm and just start softly rubbing up and down it and he heard Calum let out a small whimper behind him.

He couldn’t believe how amazing Calum felt pressing up against him like this and it felt so familiar but so different at the same time.

He let out a whimper of his own when he felt Calum nuzzle his face into his neck and Ashton leaned back into the touch.

“Cal” Ashton whimpered out then he was grabbing Calum’s hand that was on his chest and intertwining their fingers.

Then he felt a kiss being pressed to the back of his neck and Ashton squeezed Calum’s hand, hoping the boy would continue kissing him.  
Ashton turned around in Calum’s arms so that they were facing each other and he couldn’t stop himself from putting both hands on Calum’s cheeks like he always did when they were young.

He leaned forward but then he stopped, realizing that they weren’t young and he didn’t even know if Calum wanted him to kiss him.

“Kiss me” Calum whispered and Ashton smiled wide and pressed hard as he held his face in his hands.  
They both moaned in sync as soon as their lips touched and Ashton moved one of his hands to Calum’s back and brought the boy right up to his chest.

“I’m never gonna leave you again” Ashton said against his lips and then he was diving forward and kissing Calum because he just couldn’t get enough of it.

“Fuck” Calum whimpered and he fisted his hand around Ashton’s shirt to bring him even closer “I love you, Ashton” he said starting to press kisses all along Ashton’s neck and jaw “I never stopped loving you; not even for a second”

“Fuck, baby” Ashton said and then he was sniffling “I never stopped loving you either. God, I never should have fucking left you. I promise I’ll never do something stupid like that ever again”

“You better not” Calum said in a serious tone but then he was giggling and Ashton smiled wide before gripping Calum’s jaw and bringing them into another bruising kiss.

They stopped to catch their breath and then they were resting their foreheads against each other.

“Make love to me” Calum whispered and Ashton felt a chill run down his spine at how badly he wanted that “Please” he said and Ashton was already nodding as he put his hands under Calum’s shirt and started running his hands up and down his toned stomach. He was pressing open mouth kisses all over Calum’s neck and the boy was moaning under his touch already.

“I need you so bad, Cal” Ashton said in a rough voice against Calum’s neck and he felt the boy shiver against him.  
Ashton was then taking his shirt off and taking Calum’s off as well and then he was getting on top of the boy and straddling his hips.

He began to slowly rock into Calum as he kept running his hands up his stomach and he watched as Calum kept his eyes open for it all, not wanting to miss even a second of it.

“So beautiful” Ashton spoke breathlessly before bending forward and starting to suck kisses all along Calum’s tummy “So fucking beautiful, baby” and then Calum’s loud moan was filling the room and he was sitting up and grabbing Ashton’s face then crashing their lips together again.  
Calum wrapped his arms around Ashton’s torso and Ashton held on tightly to his neck as they kissed like their life depended on it and Ashton started grinding into him harder and faster, causing Calum to start panting into his mouth.

“Missed you so much” Calum said already out of breath then he was pecking kisses on Ashton’s chest then he moved onto his neck and Ashton let his head fall back, letting Calum kiss even more of his neck.

After only ten more minutes of grinding into each other Ashton already felt how close he was but he didn’t want this to be over just yet.  
He was then pressing Calum back into the bed with his hand on his chest and Calum smirked up at him but Ashton couldn’t help but kiss him some more because he just couldn’t get enough.

“Where’s the stuff?” Ashton asked and Calum nodded to the bedside table and Ashton didn’t waste any more time.  
He grabbed the lube but his hand lingered on the condoms then he looked back to Calum.

“Don’t bother” Calum smiled “Haven’t fucked anyone since you left”

“I haven’t fucked anyone else either” Ashton said back and Calum beamed.

Of course Ashton had exchanged the occasional blowjob with guys he met, in attempt to forget about Calum, but it never felt right to go any further than that so Ashton never did.

“Except that one drunken night that I had with Michael a year ago” and Ashton’s eyes shot up to meet Calum’s but only a few seconds went by before Calum was dying laughing into his hand but Ashton had a straight face “I’m kidding. Ash, I’m totally just fucking with you okay? You’re the only person I’ve ever let fuck me and you’ll be the last” Ashton just nodded and let out a breath then Calum was sitting up to peck his lips a few times.

“I was about to go upstairs and kick his ass” Ashton said with a smile but he was completely serious and Calum knew it.

“Don’t go kicking anyone’s ass” Calum said with a giggle “I just want you to fuck the shit out of mine” and he ended that with a smirk and Ashton felt his dick twitch in his boxers because he swore he almost just came from Calum’s words.

“Anything for my boy” he said kissing Calum more deeply and Calum moaned into the kiss.

*

Once Ashton had three fingers going fast into Calum the boy under him was a whimpering and moaning mess and Ashton was rutting against the bed, already feeling so close again to coming just from seeing how much Calum was enjoying his fingers.

It had been ages since they had done this but yet it still felt so comfortable and natural like Ashton wasn’t meant to be with anyone else and he knew he wasn’t; Calum was it for him and he’s always known it.

“Need to feel you…fuck! Ash need you” Calum cried out when Ashton started to hit his sweet spot and Ashton quickly took his fingers out, not wanting Calum to come until he was inside him.

Ashton quickly slicked himself up and then he was pushing his tip right up against Calum’s hole and Calum was still taking deep breaths.

“You good, baby?” he had to make sure before he went any further but Calum was quickly nodding and he didn’t stop until Ashton started to push slowly into him.

Ashton used his other hand to slowly rub up and down on Calum’s thigh and it really seemed to calm the boy just like it always did before.  
When Ashton bottomed out he let his head fall back and he let out a breath that ended in a moan and Calum was a panting mess again as he tried to adjust to Ashton inside him.

“Fuck, did you get bigger?” Calum said out of breath and Ashton let out a chuckle before looking at the boy and he was beautiful. Calum had sweat dripping down his face and they had barely even started and his mouth was parted as he was breathing heavily; Ashton couldn’t look away “Okay…okay fuck me”

Ashton pulled out slowly then he was going back in just as slowly and they both moaned at the same time as they got used to the amazing feeling of being connected once again.

Ashton was then leaning down on his elbows so he was pressed right up against Calum’s chest and the boy didn’t hesitate to wrap his legs around Ashton’s waist and grip his hands in his hair as Ashton burrowed his face in Calum’s neck and got a faster pace going.

“O-Oh my god” Calum moaned out and that only made Ashton go even faster then he was reaching back and putting Calum’s leg further up his back and fucking into him hard and fast “Oh fuck!” Calum cried out and Ashton was sure that the neighbors could hear him but he didn’t even care. He had forgotten how loud Calum was in bed and how much he loved it hearing him like this.

“That’s it, baby” Ashton said as he grunted into Calum’s neck “Tell me how good it feels”

“So fucking good, Ash….you’ve always fucked me so good” and Ashton started to suck bruises into his neck again as he kept his fast pace and by the way Calum was whimpering and moaning every second he knew the boy was close. He could feel Calum’s thighs shaking against him and Ashton moaned loudly at how responsive Calum always been.

“Gonna…gonna come” Calum managed to get out through his heavy breathing and Ashton took his face out of Calum’s neck to face the boy then he was leaning their foreheads together as he fucked into him hard.

“I love you” Ashton whimpered out and it caused Calum’s eyes to roll back in his head as his mouth opened wide “I love you more than anything, Cal” and that was all it took to send Calum over the edge and Ashton continued to fuck fast into him and he was close to follow.

When Ashton hit his own orgasm he just kept repeating Calum’s name over and over in the boys’ neck as he could feel his whole body shaking and breaking out in goose-bumps.

He felt Calum’s hand going up and down his back as he came down the he was collapsing completely against him and letting out a long exhale.

Ashton fell asleep to Calum whispering “I love you’s” into his hair as he rubbed at his back and Ashton could fall asleep peacefully for the first time in years.


	6. And take me away

**3 years later**

“My arms hurt!”

“You can take your hands off your eyes but just keep those eyes closed” Ashton shouted back to the complaining boy.

Ashton made sure that Calum wasn’t peeking before he was focusing on the sand again and making sure that everything looked perfect. It had to be or else he would never forgive himself.

He made sure that he didn’t spell anything wrong because he tended to do that a lot when he was focused on making the letters look pretty but everything looked good so Ashton let out a breath and began walking back to Calum who was stood up against a palm tree with his eyes clenched shut.  
Ashton walked until he was right in front of Calum and he pressed a kiss to each of Calum’s closed eyelids and it made Calum smile wide then he was kissing his cheek and standing next to the boy so Calum had a perfect view.

“Open your eyes now, baby” Ashton said as he softly rubbed the backs of his fingers down Calum’s cheeks and the boy purred at the touch before opening his eyes.

His eyes were small at first and squinting, from having them shut for so long but then he was widening them within a second and Ashton watched him with a huge smile on his face.

Calum seemed speechless so Ashton knew it was time to step in so he grabbed the small box out of his front pocket and stood in front of Calum before getting on one knee and gazing up at the boy.

“Calum Hood, will you spend the rest of your life with me?” Ashton had practiced saying that one sentence for weeks, ever since he got the ring, and he was so glad that he didn’t stutter on the words.

Calum had tears running down his face as he nodded then he was smiling wide and closing his eyes briefly before looking back at Ashton.

“Fuck yes, I will” and Ashton let out a giggle at remembering that 18 year old Calum had said those same exact words to him back when he asked him to prom all those years ago.

Ashton put the ring on Calum’s finger and then he was quickly getting off his knee and Calum was jumping up and putting his legs around Ashton’s waist the second Ashton was standing up and Ashton held him tightly as he spun them around a few times, making Calum giggle like crazy, and God,

Ashton was so in love.

“I’m so in love with you” Ashton whispered into Calum’s neck and Calum held him tighter around his shoulders and kept pressing kisses all over Ashton’s curls.

“I’m so in love with you too” Calum whispered back and Ashton felt tears of his own dripping down his face as he held Calum tight and rubbed at his back.

They all of a sudden heard cheering and clapping in the distance and Ashton took his head out of Calum’s neck to see two boys walking towards them, hand and hand.

“That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen” Luke said and Ashton could actually see that he was crying. Calum gave Ashton one more kiss on the cheek then he was getting down to his feet again but Ashton was quick to grab his hand and Calum leaned against his side.  
Michael rolled his eyes away from the crying mess that Luke was but Ashton could see the fond all over his face.  
The boys were getting closer to them and Ashton couldn’t help but put one arm around Luke’s shoulder and kiss the crying boys’ head.

“You two are next” Calum said with a smirk as he pointed at them both and Ashton nodded in agreement.

“No, I’m getting Luke pregnant first” Michael said with a dead serious face and they all broke out into laughter and then Luke was grabbing Michael by the front of his shirt and kissing him on the lips as he was still laughing “Anyways congrats you two” Michael said seriously and Ashton watched with a smile as Calum leaned over and ruffled Michael’s now light blue hair then put an arm around him like Ashton had an arm around Luke still “If it weren’t for me you two wouldn’t even be together though so I do expect something because of that”

“Wait what?” Calum laughed out.

“I showed him where you were that day when he came to find you. I could have been like ‘no fuck off you broke my friends heart I aint showing you where he is’ but I was nice and led him to you”

“You’re gonna be my best man; that’s a good enough thank you” Calum said messing up his hair again and Michael just nodded before smiling at the ground.

Ashton never left California ever since he came to first find Calum, except to go get the rest of his belongings, and he ended up bringing Luke back with him because Luke insisted that he couldn’t live without Ashton but Ashton knew it was mostly because Luke had fell in love with Michael during all their Skype dates and phone calls. It really was perfect here with all the people that he loved and Ashton couldn’t wait to start the next chapter of his life with Calum right at his side until the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! And let me know what you think cause the nice comments warm my heart <3


End file.
